It Finally Happened

 If you become a stepparent when your kiddo is young, you kind of always anticipate when it is they're going to retaliate against you--whether that means saying "you're not my mom!" or throwing you under the bus because you're the easiest target. Up until last weekend, my stepson has said I'm his best friend, his favorite, and while in the back of my head I thought "this kid is gonna do it one day," I did not think it would be so soon. Going to share the story with all of you because I like to keep it real.

My husband's jobs is one of those where depending upon the season, his schedule can change a little. Right now, it's busy season, so he's working Saturdays for the next month or so. He asked me if I'd mind spending Saturdays with my stepson during this time. I said of course, because I love him and we're a team and this is temporary.

Last weekend I asked kiddo what he'd like to do. He said, "Bake cookies, take the dog for a walk, play frisbee outside and watch a movie." Easy! I love to bake and the rest are super easy things. We did them all. He told me he had the best day he's had in a year. I was feeling pretty darn proud of myself. Stepmama win! 

Husband comes home and stepson relays he has had a wonderful day. Great! Feeling pretty accomplished. I go to the supermarket to grab dinner stuff since we kind of ran out and husband tells stepson that they'll download and play a new video game. We have dinner and I decide to take some me-time while my stepson and husband play their game. I am gone for ten minutes and my husband and stepson are going at it.

My stepson told my husband that I "stressed" him out and that he had a "horrible day" because of all of the stuff I "made" him do. I am so grateful my husband has my back and called him out on it, because what bullshit is that?! Honestly, it hurt my feelings and made me resentful of my stepson; I did this whole day with him, sacrificed a lot of personal time and all for him to be an ungrateful shithead. Turns out, he was upset because the game they were going to play wasn't loading. That's why. Ridiculous.

So I am going this weekend I am instituting some new rules: he has to have at least an hour where he plays by himself, I am doing what I want, I am limiting screen time and overall, I am only going to do a few things with him. It seems as if he needs to learn a lesson in appreciation and understand that his parents are not his friends.

Mamas, take care of yourselves! We can love these kids that we didn't create without losing our identities. It's OK to feel upset when they're being jerks (bio or step) and it's OK to have boundaries. I encourage it!

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