The Atypical, Childless Stepmom

 I am apart of two support groups for Stepmoms. Admittedly, I don't know where I'd be today without them. It was there that I learned I was not alone. It was there that I learned that I need to advocate for myself. It was there that I learned that everything I felt was totally and utterly normal. And it was there that I learned that my stepson is my kid but he is not my kid FIRST. He has a mom and a dad who are both equally active and loving in his life. His mom and dad are there for him. They may not see the issues that I see, but a lot of bio parents don't see those issues. But hey, maybe they aren't issues. Maybe what I perceive as issues are unproblematic for them. And hey, he's their kid, not mine! Let them figure it out.  This brings me to the point of this blog post: when stepkids have equally active parents in their life (essentially 50/50 custody), stepparents are a bonus gift to those children. We are their extra cheerleaders. We may bring a knowledge of a...

 Stepmomming is the one thing in my life where I can truly say I literally never know where I am coming or going. I think things are in a good spot and then, BLAM, some shit hits the fan.  As I've previously mentioned, my stepson is high needs, so that throws some sort of curveball from time to time, but there are certain things in this stepmom game that seem to be totally fine and figured out and then you are reminded oh yeah, there's an entire other household that we have to deal with, and sometimes they make our lives more difficult just by simply existing or making demands (or not meeting demands). I've been his stepmom since he was 2.5 and met bio mom maybe a year later. She's quiet and doesn't say much. This isn't for me to talk shit about her because quite frankly, that's not my MO. She loves her son and does her best by him, and that's all we can ask for. But we definitely have differences of opinion on many topics, and there's a bit of expec...